The tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth

I have at the moment got a raging toothache.  When I say toothache, I cannot be absolutely sure it is a tooth that is the origin and cause.  The only thing I can be certain of is the pain is emanating from inside my mouth and resembles that of toothache.  The left hand side of my face aches almost to the point of paralysis.  In fact now I think about it, I am sure I have overheard people discussing my wellbeing recently – I do recall whispers and murmurings of ‘face-ache’ whilst they were looking and gesturing in my direction.  Aren’t people kind and thoughtful?

Anyway, I don’t often visit the dentist, except for my annual check up and on very rare occasions when I need some minor repair work carrying out on them.  If and when I do experience any pain in the oral region, I just hope that it will pass swiftly and uneventfully, so that I don’t have to pester these very busy people and have them regard me as a time waster.  Past experience though has told me than when pain strikes in the mouth it is usually for a genuine reason, but still I don’t like to bother anyone.  In this instance though the pain is simply unbearable and I do not need to think twice about getting it resolved.

Trying to make an appointment at my local dentist for any kind of treatment is a feat in itself.  I rang them up to ask if they had any emergency appointments available.  This is a brief transcript of the call:


Hi – can I make an emergency appointment please?


When would you like one for, both the dentists are booked for the next 4 or 5 weeks, are you ok to wait until then?


Well no, not really.  I need to see someone really urgently.  I am in excruciating pain and have been for over 24 hours now.


What exactly is the problem?


[Remaining polite and resisting the urge to ask when she had graduated from Dentistry College] I don’t know – that’s why I would like to see the dentist


Well if you could give me an indication of what you think may be the problem, I may be able to gauge the length of appointment I need to make for you


I haven’t lost a filling, I don’t think it’s an abscess, but the whole of the left side of my face hurts and even strong pain killers are not easing the pain


Well the earliest we have got is two weeks on Wednesday.  Would you like me to book that for you?


You’ve got nothing earlier?


No I’m afraid we haven’t


Well if that’s the earliest then I suppose it’ll have to do 

It wouldn’t have been any funnier if she had told me the appointment was at two-thirty!

I have since had a conversation with someone who is ‘in the know’.  I will not reveal my source for fear of any reprisals from the dental society that may come their way – probably a little melodramatic, but hey I’m thinking this needs spicing up with an element of danger!  Anyhow, to cut to the chase, I was told that ‘urgent’ is considered losing a filling, losing a crown, or a suspected abscess and they will miraculously find an appointment almost immediately.

Amazing.  If I had lied about what I thought the cause to be I would probably be sorted right now.  Instead here I am pumping myself with an excessive amount of non prescription painkilling drugs and still in constant agony awaiting the two weeks to drag by. 

Now I understand where the saying “truth hurts” comes from, because it is certainly hurting me.



Filed under Everyday observations

4 responses to “The tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention The tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth | Radley Rants --

  2. mysoulforsale

    Ouch! That’s terrible! You would think that medical “professionals” would have been educated in how to appear at least somewhat concerned and sympathetic. You should call them back and tell them that you think your mouth is starting to fall out of your head, and see what they say… or I guess you can tell them that you think you have an abscess if you’re not inclined to scare people. Regardless, two weeks is too long!

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